Mass weddings unhealthy for couples
January 25, 2008 at 2:37 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a commentJanuary 25, 2008
Editor News, Freep, Heritage News, Observer-Eccentric, MI Chronicle, etc.XX
re: Mass weddings unhealthy for couples
To the Editor:
As Valentine’s Day approaches, many couples begin to think of romantic ways they can celebrate the day together. Some will even decide it’s the perfect day to finally “tie the knot”. For those couples I say, “Congratulations!” for we know the tremendous benefits to couples, to their children, and to our communities when those unions result in a healthy marriage. But then I’ll ask “what are you doing to insure that you have a life-long marriage?” It’s unfortunate that so many couples are doing nothing—especially when what can be done is inexpensive, readily available, and greatly increases their odds of being happy, avoiding infidelity and remaining together for a lifetime.
Our Wayne County Clerk’s office, asserting that they’re just offering what the people want, provide group wedding services several times each year. They proudly promote this service, saying they marry hundreds of couples at a time. My personal and professional concern is that they provide no pre-marriage education for those couples, nor will they refer them to any of the hundreds of churches, mosques, community centers, marriage educators, or therapists who offer those services. In contact with my office, they have even refused to place information where couples may choose to discover marriage education services for themselves, saying they cannot endorse any one organization. Such a statement reflects their lack of awareness of the importance of marriage to a vital economy, to the health of individuals, and to the strength of communities, as well as a refusal to become informed of the fact that we are a non-profit “umbrella” organization who serves as a clearinghouse where couples may locate those services throughout Wayne County.
Our governments are in fact NOT in the habit of ‘just providing what the people want’, otherwise they would be selling illegal drugs to addicts, and tobacco and cigarettes to under-aged teens. Such a statement reflects a lack of responsibility for the outcome of the services they provide. Where the National divorce rate is approximately 45% (and Wayne County’s is much higher), what they should be in the habit of doing is providing information—that endorses no one organization in particular—that directs couples to how and where they may find support services for themselves.
Sincerely,
Julianne M. Bock, CME Executive Director
Marriage Resource Center of Wayne County
JANUARY IS THE DIVORCING MONTH
January 9, 2008 at 4:25 pm | Posted in Blogroll, divorce, divorce prevention, Marriage, MRC website, MRC-WC, Thought-provoking | 3 CommentsTags: divorce, healthy marriage, Marriage, marriage benefits
“I think it’s caused by a combination of people waiting to get through the
holidays without causing too much upsetfor their families, as well as making New Year’s resolutions for themselves that they will not spend another year in a bad marriage,” divorce attorney Andrea Vacca said. We at the Marriage Resource Center know the flaw in their thinking. While their intention is to improve their lives and relieve stress, they will instead bring unimagined additional stresses on themselves, put their children at greater risk of school failure, increase their financial struggles, and degrade their physical and emotional health. Research from the Institute for American Values confirms at least 26 positive benefits for couples who remain married—despite the struggles of doing so in our culture today. And these benefits encompass all facets of life: relationships, finances, emotional, mental and physical health, and longevity.* Additional research shows that dissatisfied couples who remain together rate themselves as happy or very happy five years later. As most long-married couples know marriage is not a static position, but a dynamic relationship with ups and downs, and simply sticking together will often bring a positive change. Of course, the Marriage Resource Center offers many options for getting to a better marriage sooner rather than later. We offer a variety of workshops (for both marrieds and singles), a lending library, instructional videos, and private marriage lessons, as well as a website full of information and links to national resources. Visit the MRC at 23400 Michigan Avenue, Suite P18, Dearborn, call our office to speak with a trained marriage educator (313.278.4400), email us at community@MImarriage.org, or visit our website at www.MImarriage.org.
Today is a great day to strengthen your marriage!
*This statement comes from a team of family scholars chaired by W. Bradford Wilcox of the University of Virginia, William Doherty of the University of Minnesota, Norval Glenn of the University of Texas, andLinda Waite of the University of Chicago. The project is sponsored by the Institute for American Values. The Institute is grateful to Arthur E. Rasmussen for helping to initiate the project, to Maggie Gallagher forresearch and editorial assistance on the first edition, to the National Fatherhood Initiative for supporting the second edition, and to the Institute’s financial contributors for their generous support. © 2005, Institute for American Values. First edition published 2002. Second edition 2005.
As Long As We Both Shall Live
July 26, 2007 at 9:04 pm | Posted in Check it out!, Commitment, Marriage, MRC website, MRC-WC, Thought-provoking | 2 CommentsAs I’m in the process of redesigning the main website for the MRC, I tend to do a lot of random “tweaking” of pages here and there. Today, for example, I decided to make our Related Links page look, well, prettier. And more useful. Because “useful” is always something we ought to strive for. 😉
Anyway, while digging through the various links (to actually see what they were for!), I came across one that was especially surprising and thought-provoking: photographer Robert Fass’ photo essay, As Long As We Both Shall Live. According to Fass,
The project combines formal and environmental portraits with the subjects’ own words in an attempt to capture the intimate dynamic of couples who choose to make a lifelong commitment to their marriage-and examines, through their eyes, the changing institution of marriage in America.
Now, as a young college student, and someone with some fairly unconventional views towards marriage, I found the project, and the photos and interviews that were a part of it, intriguing and fascinating. In particular, I was entranced by three of the couples that Fass interviewed for the project. Their stories really made me think, and expanded my thoughts on marriage in general, and ideas about commitment and relationships in particular.
George & Peggy, Roanoke VA – Married 1956
Ask Mr. Marriage
July 24, 2007 at 2:03 pm | Posted in Marriage, MRC-WC | 4 CommentsQ: Why do women get so angry when men try to help some solve the problems they complain about?
A: The root of this problem is miscommunication: When a women tells you about her problems she wants you to listen and be supportive NOT to problem solve. This can be perceived as being insensitive and domineering. So instead of cutting her off and telling her how to solve things, stop, listen, give her a hug and ask her “ What can I do to make you feel better?”
Hello world!
July 23, 2007 at 4:32 pm | Posted in introductions, Marriage, MRC-WC | Leave a commentWelcome to the MRC-WC blog!
The Marriage Resource Center’s purpose is to promote healthy marriages throughout Wayne County. Our goal is to improve the quality of marriage relationships and family life, for adults and children alike. We are challenged to raise awareness of programs and services available to individuals and couples at every stage of pre-marriage and marriage with a mind to strengthening marriages and reducing the divorce rate throughout Wayne County.
Our hope and intent for this blog is to expand our reach within the series of tubes known as the internet, as well as actively engage in discussion and ideas about marriage.
So, welcome to the MRC-WC blog!
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